[Wednesday January 10th, 2007 11:21am] [ music | phil collins ] I can convince myself of anything. I know you miss me, and I know you regret what you did and you were right - I can do better; and I couldn't care less about you, now. One month. I've never been much of an "anniversary" type of person, but we're going to q-town tonight and having a picnic at the rock quarry. (he doesn't know that yet) (ps; no homo) Staying up 'til 6 am watching Jackass2 and B-rated gore films are where it's at. Johnny two times, two times, except I kissed him 3 times on my way out. I've always hated the sunrise, he covered all the windows with sheets even though the light helps him wake up He ditched class to continue spooning. Although I ended up leaving 30 minutes later. I'm always cold, he's always hot, but he set the heating blanket on its highest Coughing, and sniffling synchronized. To celebrate my legality I am going to Hawaii and getting traditional Polynesian tattoos with dad and mom.  And hopefully Ninot. wear your make up like a weapon

[Wednesday January 3rd, 2007 1:28am] [ music | eagles ] I'm debating whether I should crush and pop this. All I want is peace, love, and happiness. I'm feelin' good, I'm feelin' real good. wear your make up like a weapon

[Sunday December 31st, 2006 2:54am] [ music | little mermaid ] He called his mom at 4 in the morning asking her to switch his plane ticket to today, instead of wednesday. reason: "I miss Heather too much". baby came home early, even though his plane was an hour late. i saw him turning the corner with his luggage, and my feelings for him expanded. i see him everyday, if not at work - at home, every time we drive by each others houses, before work, after work. i guess i got used to the 6 day in a row sleepovers. where did those lanes come from? where did those lines come from? wednesday, intense. hotel party. drunk guy touching me. boys wanting to fight. h-addicts partying in the next room. drunk guy touching me runs head on into a parked uhaul. pigs. turn off the lights, don't make a sound. lines. don't ruin your teeth. 2 new piercers. new hook up for tat. tagging lesson. fogged mirrors, can not see. stole private parking sign. -2 turkish golds. surprise them with the bud when they think it's all gone. kb. xanni danny and i debating over dvd's indian style @stereo section Best Buy. hooters. fresh meat. drunk guy following me to vehicle with brother and sitting in my passenger seat. some 80's superhero show. completely and totally chill. wear your make up like a weapon

[Wednesday December 27th, 2006 8:46pm] [ music | warriors ] He messaged me for the first time in a long while. He said this would be the last time he'd talk to me, until he finally moved on, which he said would probably never happen. He said he was sorry for avoiding me, and making me think he hated me, because he never could. He said he could love me, because he loves everything about me. He yelled at me for having a boyfriend. A boyfriend whom just a few weeks ago, I could not stand because he was such a tramp and because he always had to be the center of attention. People change. Opinions change. He showed me he could be a different person, so I decided to be with him. And I am happy. You will regret cutting me out of your life. But I am fine. wear your make up like a weapon

[Thursday December 21st, 2006 6:21pm] [ music | brand new ] There's a so-called warrant for my arrest. Cops & idiot would not stop calling work. I need to do laundry.  And maybe if my room were clean I could get this 8 page paper I've been putting off done. There are too many distractions and I am bored. Time to drop by Walmart and do some returning. Jake knows. My birds are out. Chris and I ripped our lip rings last night kissing. Pulled away too fast. Hooked. Blood, and swelling. Sore. Sweeeeett. It's not a party if it happens every night. wear your make up like a weapon

[Monday December 18th, 2006 3:16am] [ music | bone thugs ] reminder: make a summary of 2006 as soon as you get the chance. not tuesday, you have to do christmas shopping tuesday. dick curtis, and chris are going to set up my christmas tree while i put up stockings and lighting arrangements around the fireplace. wear your make up like a weapon

[Saturday December 16th, 2006 3:58pm] [ music | she wants revenge ] I know entirely too many Chris'. He's a hopeless romantic, and it's cute. But I don't know how to react. I call him homo, and tell him to shut the fuck up. He laughs, and says "Baby, I do what I do". San Diego, Ocean City or Richmond? I guess I'll find out once summer comes. All three are far away from Woodbridge. And I wanted to stay in the area for another year, but it doesn't seem like things will work out that way. I love it when Hooters girls give you their number. Officially known as the "regulars", except we're "not creepy or old". A quarter every six months. Gumballs, awesome! Lay the mack. I want to hold you close, soft breasts, breathing hard. As I whisper in your ear, I want to fucking tear you apart. I miss playing ball with my boys. Come home honey baby, come home. I want to go to a pumpkin patch. You promised to take me to the country, since I've never been. We'd look at the stars and tell ghost stories in a barn. That was a year ago. I hate knowing I've been forgotten. wear your make up like a weapon

[Thursday December 14th, 2006 12:48am] [ music | gods girls live ] I hate posting livejournal entries like these, but I am no longer single. The boy would not let up. A week straight he asked me out every day, every hour, multiple times in an hour. I mean, I love my asics, but I want some high dunks. I didn't visit you, I had to work. And the entire time I was flirting with this boy, laughing and folding pants. I felt bad but there's nothing I can do but move on. I realize you'll never come back, I'll always feel the same way, and I'll always miss you. But I can't spend every night crying because I can't hear your voice. Because I wont feel the same touch. I will visit you though, and soon. Some time during winter break Jake and I are taking a day trip to VAB. I went to Baltimore Aquarium with him Monday. Saw birds, sharks, frogs, not dolpins, heard really perverted groans walking up the escalators, ate at the inner harbour, almost went to the ESPN store but it was getting dark and we didn't know how to get back home. got lost on the way there because mapquest is shitty, got lost on the way home, side swiped and stopped at a really nice gas station. sang really loud in the car, sang to the car beside us. amazing parking. Perve parking. stunner shades. downtown washington, I SEE THE PENCIL. that santa shop has not always been there wear your make up like a weapon

[Friday November 17th, 2006 2:52pm] [ music | citizen cope ] I go around dishing out my advice like I'm some sort of "together" and "stable" person when really I'm shit scared. Nothing has been the same since last October when I made the biggest mistake I think I've ever made. I can't even hear his name without freaking out. I don't tell anyone what I think or feel except Chris. He's the only one I tell and I don't even care that he's not interested anymore.  Last night I got really drunk, alone, and called him crying my fucking brains to liquid. He was on the phone with me for 2 hours, listening to me yell and cry and bitch and feel sorry for myself because of this stupid past that keeps crawling back. So I'm sorry. Every one of my friends who confides in me I feel like I do you a big injustice because you're all trustworthy and supportive. But I don't trust anyone, and I'm not attached to anything. I'm really not dealing with everything all that well at all. I never have. I throw everything to the side, and then a few months later I think about it and say "it's in the past now, whatever". I seek male validity which is pathetic. I would really love it if someone wanted more than some one night of fun and games and be shagging each and every other fucker in the proximity while he's seeing me. I know I'm young but I guess I'm just a "relationship" type person.

[Sunday October 22nd, 2006 12:33am] [ music | citizen cope ] Thank you sir, I am still stoned out of my life. wear your make up like a weapon

[Thursday July 27th, 2006 4:45am] [ music | Jonbenet ] Sharp bones. Grabbing wrists. Pressing lips. Touching skin. Sharp bones. Grabbing wrists. Pressing lips. Touching skin. Sharp bones. Grabbing wrists. Pressing lips. Touching skin. Sharp bones. Grabbing wrists. Pressing lips. Touching skin. Sharp bones. Grabbing wrists. Pressing lips. Touching skin. Sharp bones. Grabbing wrists. Pressing lips. Touching skin. Sharp bones. Grabbing wrists. Pressing lips. Touching skin. wear your make up like a weapon

[Monday July 10th, 2006 12:36pm] [ music | Discover America ] Three dead on my deck. wear your make up like a weapon

[Saturday July 1st, 2006 3:25am] [ music | Hustle & Flow ] There are two kinds of people; Those that "talk the talk", and those that "walk the walk". wear your make up like a weapon

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